Breaking Free of Fear

Fear - something that causes feelings of dread or apprehension;
something a person is afraid of.

Maybe its just me but I have always had the fear to let go and become the educator my heart leads me to become.  Let go of what you ask? Standards, test scores, evaluations based on test scores, tradition, the "norm", the way I was taught or the way I was taught to teach.  You pick.  There is this apprehension I feel every time I think about stepping outside of my comfort zone to pursue something new.  Something outside-of-the-box.

Inside that box is pretty comfy.  Teaching the way I was taught and the way my colleagues teach means that I will always have the acceptance of my peers.  It also means that parents will feel comfortable too.  Their children will experience what they did in school.  However, I've come to realize that "comfortable" may not be what's best for my students.  They are a different generation.  Raised in world where technology is the norm, maybe they aren't so comfortable being taught in a "traditional" way.  The world changes.  Maybe traditions should too.

So I'm stepping outside of the box.

I've already taken some baby steps.  This past school year I flipped my Algebra 1 classes.  Completely flipped for the entire school year.  And you know what?  It was kinda nice.  Stepping outside the box of normalcy gave me a chance to create a new "normal".  I think I've forgotten how to lecture in the traditional sense.  And I'm okay with that.  Surprisingly, my colleagues didn't disown me.  As a matter of fact, I have a few who are thinking of stepping outside of the box with me.  Yes, they are thinking about flipping too.  Huh.  Maybe I'm not so crazy.

And maybe its not such a bad thing being that lone dancing nut.  Derek Sivers suggests in this TED talk that an entire movement can start with one, lone dancing nut.  I like to dance.  I've never feared being ridiculed or failing in an outrageous endeavor in my personal life.  Why, then, do I have that fear in my professional life as an educator?  If I don't take the chance of doing something great for my students because I'm afraid that I will fail, then what am I really teaching them? No great feat has ever been accomplished without some risk.

So I've decided to break free of the fear.  The fear of failing.  The fear of not "covering" all the standards.  The fear of my colleagues not accepting me.  I've come to realize that there is different fear I should be more concerned about.  The fear of letting another school year go by that I am not the teacher my heart leads me to be.  Because if not now...when?

This is my journey...